what's in a name?

For years, I have been planning to have a blog. To have this space where I would unwind all my brilliance, real and imagined. However, in doing so, I was constantly stuck by the name I ought to give to the blog. What will it be called? Somehow I put much more importance on the name than it was required. To me, the name of my blog would be this thing which become associated with me, about me. Which would be me. So year after year, I have contemplated about the 'name' and I came up with some really corny ones as well. They never sounded right and I was always too lazy to think about it beyond that or actually do something about it. So, I let it be. However. I am soon going to touch 30. The dreaded three decades slipping though the palms. And I have been very preoccupied with my being 30. There are times when I wake up with a jolt in my own bed, in my own house, with my husband and think 'when did all of this happen'? 'when did i grow up'? There is a sense of relief as well as dread in that waking up with a jolt. All said and done, with all the excitment and exasperations, I must say I am much more relaxed being 30 than I ever was being 15, 25 or 28. I had my share of breakdowns being any of these, 15, 25 or 28. And though I am sure I am going to sweat a bit about turning 30, I will not crack down when I am 35. I am actually looking forward to it. Growing up (growing old) has its benefitts. I am a much more relaxed and comfortable person. I am not that tensed. I am not that scared. I find it easier to love. I am able to say No. I don't reach out to people with crumbling nails to leave them cold-blinded. In short, I am not afraid.

And all this growing up/growing old business has a lot to do with the fact that I am actually doing something about my blog. It is a very small thing. Almost inconsequential. However, my being able to do it without actually thinking what others would think is, for me, a significant step in climbing up the ladder.

So, here it is, the summer-afternoon-stillness.

Hibernate!